I told my doctor how I felt like a zombie when I took my medication. I think I broke down in front of him, and started crying. Which rarely happens to me. I don't usually break down crying like an idiot. And he told me to stop taking such big dosages. I wanted to say to him, "But you were the one who suggested I take this dose." But I didn't. Probably because I was too chicken shit to say something that could possibly end up with him scolding me. I always try to remember my manners when around other people. It might be something my father drilled into me when I was young. "Stop making excuses! Stop saying shit when I'm trying to talk to you!"

Sometimes, I just want to sit in my room, and cry.

1 comment:

♥N said...

It's amazing how easy it is to get on medication. I recently went to a therapist/psychiatrist to talk about some things in my life, and at the end of the session, I left with 2 prescriptions: one downer and one upper to counteract. I never took the medications. I figured if I ever took it, it would be the start of a life of prescription drug dependency. If things head into a downward spiral, I might try to go on the meds... but for me, while I still feel like I have some control, I'll try to manage without them.

And crying is good medication, too.