Love lost is love found?

Ken told me that he's been with his girlfriend for the last 2 years... What have I been doing that time? Absolutely fucking nothing. Not getting into a serious relationship with anyone has got me thinking, what is the best time to settle down? Not sure for everyone, but for me, that's probably going to be when I'm at least 35. I just don't see the point of settling down now.

I've seen all the bullshit on Facebook. Trust me I have. I've seen my friends getting engaged, making and having babies, and I don't know. It doesn't scare me... Well maybe the pushing a baby out of my uterus does, but marriage that's a piece of cake. I just don't have inclination to do any of that stuff. And what's wrong with not wanting to get married and living in a 3 bedroom house? I don't see anything wrong with that. I just don't want to do it right now...

Now I kind of wished I had a cigarette.

I've known...

So I've known for the last couple of weeks that Skyler has a girlfriend, and it makes me happy that he's finally moved on from me. I just didn't see the point of continuing this crazy charade of dancing around each other, possibly liking each other, but in the end not being able to commit to him.

I'm just not a commitment type of girl. We had talked during April, and he was just so weird about everything. He told me that he's a romantic, and I just said yeah... And then he mentioned that he wanted to cuddle with me. And I just texted him back: Lol. Because I'm not the cuddling type. I'm the type to fuck and then leave. I'm not huge in the romance department, nor do I care about flowers, and wooing the opposite sex.

So I'm glad that he now has someone he can do that with.

An Introduction: Edward

I first saw him in school. I thought he was smart, and cute, and just plain gorgeous. I never thought that 10 years would pass and we would meet up again. Like old friends, but more like sex partners. He played the guitar in school, and I'm hoping that he still does.

His sense of style has grown up a lot since varsity jacket days. And his taste in music is like pure sex to me. He was voted for something in our high school yearbook. Possibly best dressed? I'm not sure anymore... But for whatever reason, I have seriously indications that sex with him is going to be amazing. We haven't done it yet, because I have a busy schedule, and he has a even busier one. And plus my one month rule. I don't sleep with anyone unless I've known them for one month or more.

Sucked me in

I haven't seen Edward in 10 years, and all of the sudden he has me all wrapped around his little finger again. It's strange what times does to a person. He's not only amazing looking as usual, but he looks like he's matured. I hope I have as well. It's been 10 years, since high school, since I've seen him, and it's like wham, all those feelings of falling for him have come around full blast. He's always sucking me in to his life.

I had meant to ask him or Charles to homecoming my junior year in high school, but being stupid little old me, I decided to ask Charles, which ended up being the worst mistake of my life. If only, I had asked the right one, maybe now I wouldn't be in this predicament.

I don't think he even remembers that I've known about him this entire time...